Five Years?!

Soccer.. best.

Is the 5-year mark actually coming up? Shoot, son. So much has happened in my life, but some days it feels like the crash just happened last week! Five years. That is half a decade! I know it’s almost a month away, but I feel like a little timeline of June Tenth experiences is in order (I’ll throw in some “throughout the year” pictures as well. Might as well start with some pre-crash photos)…

Moving.. it's what I did.

My first "Car Picture" ..conveniently taken just one week before the crash

June 10, 2007

            The Crash.

A whole separate page has been made for this event.. check it out? But, yeah, this was the night my life was expected to.. end. As my blogging makes clear, that was not the actual outcome. Thanks be to God! I’m quite happy with the alternative, anyways. In fact, I am incredibly happy, but that doesn’t describe my feelings during this stage of the timeline. Nope. I was mostly just confused. Well, technically, on the specific day, I was completely oblivious, but the confusion came soon after. I questioned my purpose in life and was afraid that maybe the crash was my sole purpose and that God was “done” with me.. silly girl.

In the hospital.. no, I do not remember this.

Wheelchair.

Walker.

June 10, 2008

            Colorado Mountains.

A beautiful spot on the mountain.. but I was clearly not enjoying it :/

As I said, I thought God was “done” with me. To go further, I thought that maybe the crash was also a warning, that June Tenth was the day I would die.. in 2008. Fortunately, I was wrong and that didn't happen. Unfortunately, I was sitting in a car riding up a mountain in Colorado that day. Nothing like looking down the side of a mountain on the day you think you are destined to die to spark up a little bit of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms. Yes, I was crying and clutching the handle of the car door. I’m fairly certain my grip would have spared my life in the case of a mountainside crash. Although my death was not a result of this day either, my concerns remained.

Overcoming Fears..

..and Defying Limitations

June 10, 2009

            Flying to Rome.

Ready to board!.. equipped with back brace and pillow.. just in case.

On my two-year anniversary, I was scheduled to fly across the ocean. After experiencing one frightening anniversary, I just didn’t see putting me on an airplane as a good idea. I came up with all sorts of plans to distract myself in the event of a panic attack on the 9-hour flight, but thankfully did not need intervention. I also got to skip out of some of the day, thanks to the jump across time zones. At this point, I was still super confused, but slowly beginning to make sense of some areas in my life and accept some of the changes that had occurred.

NDSU.. got involved with FOCUS as a Student Missionary
(last one on the right)

June 10, 2010

            Procedure Recovery.

Chillin' in my chair...

Nothing life-threatening went down on the third anniversary. In fact, I was just reclined in “crash” chair, the same chair I’m currently reclined in at my parents’ house. This is the chair I spent a lot of my summer of 2007 in; it brings back all kind of emotions. Because I had a back procedure done at the beginning of June in 2010, I also spent a lot of time in the chair that summer. Although I had come a long way up to that point, I experienced some major emotional regression that summer. This day was a good day, though. I realized that I had, with the help of God, come a long way. And I knew that, even though that summer was difficult, I had found happiness in my life through Christ.

At FOCUS Conference with Laura.. she has helped me to grow immensely :)

June 10, 2011

            Catholic Urban Project.

Enjoying Juneteenth Festival in Flint, MI

Over the next year, I grew a heck of a lot more in my faith and learned a lot more about myself. My four-year anniversary happened while I was in Flint, Michigan as a CUP missionary. The date started to become just like any other day, but the crash was certainly on my mind more often than it usually is. It had become clearer to me at that point that life does go on, that I am the girl who got in a crash, but I’m not just the girl who got in a crash. As for the day specifically, I think that was the day that started out with finishing up making a few banners for Catholic Charities and attending the first day of the Juneteenth Festival, which was celebrating the Emancipation Proclamation.. yes!

Sarah Champa, the one who got me involved with FOCUS :)

A couple presents from my spiritual buddy, Nate (St. Ignatius of Loyola)

June 10, 2012

            FOCUS Training.

Well, I’m not there yet, but I will soon be at New Staff Training for FOCUS in Champaign, Illinois. The five-year anniversary.. wow! I’ve changed in a lot of big ways over the past five years. I’m alive and I’m walking; I’ve accomplished all sorts of weird physical achievements. I’ve also let Jesus heal a lot of emotional wounds. And, more recently, I’ve actually opened up. This one gets me the most. The other accomplishments I more or less expected; I was too stubborn to be held back by physical limitations and, even when I was struggling emotionally, I knew there was a light at the other end of the tunnel. But to open up to others about what I’ve gone through..? That wasn’t something I expected at all! If anything, I pulled myself farther and farther away from that possibility as time went on. I just held in more and more. I have since realized that the story is not my own; it is God’s story. It is a miraculous story and it would be wrong of me to hide His Glory from others. Now, by sharing myself with others, I will share Christ.