The Miracle is Real.

soccer! (summer 2006)

About eight years ago, I remember hearing about 5k runs and discovering that they were only about 3 miles long. I ran every day and played soccer; a 5k sounded like a piece of cake, just a warm-up run before practice. I knew that I wouldn’t do it fast, because I was uber slow, but that I was capable. It sounded like something I would want to do for fun someday, but I didn’t really get around to looking into it. Not much time passed before this dream of mine seemed impossible.

rockin' the walker and back brace

Just over seven years ago (June 10, 2007), my chances of ever running again were knocked right down. For a short period of time, even walking or opening my eyes was questionable. Over the next six years, on various occasions when I was feeling brave, I would try to pick up running again. It always ended in failure and debilitating pain, usually pushing me even further back in the process of feeling capable. Others would share their stories about running different races and it was hard to ignore the unfulfilled desires on my heart, desires that would never be satisfied. I was broken.

But on a glorious day last summer (May 25, 2013), my back was healed! But then, around this time last year, although my back was better, I was terrified! The healing was pretty fresh and I was still accepting it as a reality. I remember standing in the cafeteria at Ave Maria in Florida with my new FOCUS teammates and they were talking about how we should all run together while we were there for training. Great idea to test out the back healing, right? Internally I was panicking and I didn’t know what to say, so I just started throwing out some ridiculous excuses, such as…“Yeah, it’s really hot here. I’m from North Dakota. I don’t know if I would survive running in this.” … “Oh, shoot, I didn’t even bring tennis shoes.” … “Oh, my feet are really wide, so I probably shouldn’t borrow any from anyone; don’t want to stretch them out, you know.”

All honest things, but excuses. And I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had only met these people a few weeks prior, but I just started bawling in front of them. I was so scared to try running again! I was remembering all of the times I had been hopeful and had my hopes ripped away. All of the times I had felt like the run went well, only to discover that the resulting shooting pains in my back prevented me from even lying down to sleep. I desperately desired to run again, but the fears in my memories were winning. To push them aside, I made the decision to not even try until making it back home to North Dakota in July. And I did it!!!!!! And it was awesome!

I can’t tell you just how discouraging it got, though. The six years before, I had gone from being very active to not moving much at all. Starting again, it was difficult to accept that I wasn’t just going to pick up where I left off. Not only were my muscles out of practice, but I have asthma and these lungs hadn’t had much opportunity to be built up either. But I knew that I needed to keep going if it was going to get any better so I continued throughout the summer. By the end, I don’t think I even got over a mile when running continuously. Then, with the transition of moving to Michigan, I wasn’t sure what to do with my life, so running took a break for several months. Starting again in January, I still wasn’t going much over a mile, but my time was somewhat improving. And then I busted up my knee while sledding. Oops. Fast forward and I started running more consistently again a couple weeks ago. It was again a discouraging start, but each day I would go a tiny bit farther and I could feel my lungs getting stronger. My route ended up being just less than two miles when I checked the other day.

Emily and I all clean before the race!

But this morning I did a 5k (3.1 miles)!!!! Heyyyyyyyy! Praise the Lord!!! And, aside from having to stop briefly for the train towards the beginning, we (Emily and I) ran the entire time! And it was great! My lungs were even able to withstand the awkward powdery dusty color stuff that was all over the air. Yes, it was a Color Run. And it was excellent! When we went through the finish line, I just wanted to keep running, but a very tall man was blocking my path; that was probably a good thing. Anyway, now I have no excuse to not be running at least three miles every day. God is so Good. I am so grateful for the gift to run again. It is hard to believe that all of these things in my life have happened, perhaps even especially for me, but THE MIRACLE IS REAL!

Emily and I not as clean after the race...

taking an opportunity to breakdance. or something...

Do you have any desires that seem impossible to be granted? Don’t be discouraged! If you take anything from this post, know that ANYTHING is possible with God! Continue to bring your desires to Him and He will continue to conform your will to His. He will give you what you truly desire if you allow Him to purify your desires so you know what it is you do truly desire. And I encourage you to be patient with His timing. I am not saying that I am the master of patience (because I surely am not!), but God has definitely shown me that He sees much more than I do and His timing is far better than mine. Trust Him. It is His desire to see you rejoice. Allow Him to give you an opportunity. It’s totally worth it!