Scarred.

I have a tendency to run my index finger across the back of my head, tracing the bump of my scar that extends a few inches across. It makes me feel awkward sometimes because it reminds me of Harry Potter, but it just happens. Recently, I have been wondering why that is. What is so comforting about touching the wound? Because it used to itch back in the day, one thought is that it has just become a habit, but it’s more than that. The scar is an indicator of reality, a reminder of God’s Love, and a testament to my new Life in Christ.

This scar on the back of my head is actually the only scar that was inflicted by the crash itself. I have others but they were from the hospital as the doctors attempted to spare my life. The scar, I think, is from the metal lock on my driver’s door. I am not an engineer by any means, but my guess is that the force of the impact shot it right out of the door. As a result, I was essentially shot in the back of the head. If this is true, what if the lock shot out at a slightly different angle? Or what if I had been positioned differently in the car? These questions point to the intricacies of the miracle of my survival. Praise God for a minor flesh wound I did not even know about until it had healed up. I don’t have any memory of the actual crash, so being able to touch and see this wound, I am able to connect more with it and acknowledge that I really had almost died and that I have suffered a lot of pain over the past six years. The crash is not just a story; it really did happen. I feel kind of like Thomas, who needed to see and touch the wounds of Jesus in order to believe.

Acknowledging the reality of the crash, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of God’s Love. Just as Jesus’ story did not end on the cross, mine did not end in the car. He pulled me out of the mess and restored my life. He Loved me through my hurt and gently led me to healing. He showed me His Glory, His Power, His Mercy, and His Love. I was by no means deserving of any of it, but He bestowed it on me regardless because He sees me as worthy. He has done so much and He will never stop.

Therefore, the scar becomes a testament to what the Lord has done and what I am to do in response. I am no longer in pain, but am scarred; I have been impacted greatly. And I have a visible sign of it, but it is hidden underneath of my hair. Unless I comb away the strands and point it out, others have no idea it is there. In the same way, my story of God’s Love and Healing is not seen unless I make active steps to share it. We are all called to move aside what blocks us from sharing our testimony of God’s Love and Graces. What are you hiding behind? How can you expose what He has done for you? Do not fear the scars on your heart. God has strengthened you through them in His Love and His Peace.