stay here.

God placed me here. On earth. To live. And He placed you here. Because He Loves you and He Loves me. Dearly. And we are invited to receive this Love He has for us, to let it enter into our hearts. Fill us. Overflow from us. And allow it to flow unto others so that they may be filled with His Love, also. We can’t close ourselves off from His Love or we are stopping it from reaching others. And, in order to Love others, we must first be Loved.

I struggle with that. I desire to share Love with others, but it is really hard for me to accept Love initially, whether straight from God or through others. It has gotten a lot easier in the past year, but I still struggle, particularly receiving Love through others. The thought of it makes me want to run and hide. But He has placed me here, in a specific time and place, for a specific purpose. I know I am where He has called me to be and have no need of going elsewhere. My life is so blessed. Yes, I am aware that I have experienced a lot of pain and suffering, but Jesus is so present that I honestly forget. When I allow even a drop of His Love to enter into me, all of my pain and suffering just vanishes.

I did not accept His Love for many years, but He was always there. Because I did not notice and thought I was alone, I was miserable. Even before the car crash, I was not happy to be here. I always felt inadequate and unwanted. I didn’t like myself, so I assumed no one else did either. When God spared my life in the crash, it was not a joyful occasion for me. I hated being here so much, hated it ever so much more than before. My head was throbbing, pain overtook my body; I felt useless. I was sixteen-years-old and needed someone else to brush my hair and wake me up to take me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I just wanted to run away, to disappear. I was afraid to let people love me then because I did not want them to see how weak I was. How broken I was. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually broken.

But then Christ revealed to me that it is precisely in my weakness that He is made known, that I needed to rely solely on Him and cling to nothing else. Then, when others saw me, they would instead see Him. My suffering was no longer a burden, but a blessing. But He had a better plan. He took away my pain; He eased my suffering. With complete reliance on Him, He made me well. It was His choice always, but He waited for me to recognize it to be mine. Because I allow Him to purify me, He continuously heals me of my wounds and afflictions. He is carrying me to the fullness of who I am in Him; He is making me whole. I am free to do His will, to fulfill the true desires of my heart that originate in Him. I am simply called to stay with Him, to stay here.

When I look at pictures of my car, it is impossible for me to understand why I am here. But when I look at the Cross, I know there is a reason. He has a plan and there is nothing for me to fear. It does not matter how impossible it seems. It does not matter how undeserving I am. It does not matter if something different happens to other people. I am supposed to be here. And you are supposed to be here.

Jesus Loves me so much. And He Loves you so much! He does not desire to Love me any more than He desires to Love you. He does not desire to speak to me any more than He desires to speak to you. Let Him Love. Let Him speak. Feel His Presence. Hear His Word. He is with you. Whether you acknowledge Him or not, He is there. Be assured that you are right where you are supposed to be, that He has a plan for you even now. He wants to heal you, to make you whole, to take away your sufferings and fill you with His Joy and His Peace. So stay. Don’t run from Him. Don’t run from others. Stay here. Whatever makes you afraid, don’t let it drive you away. Tell Jesus about it. Allow Him to shed His Truth on the lies and fears you have. He will not force anything on you, but allow Him to gently lead you. He does Love you. You are meant to be here.