Fighting Fear with Faith and Fortitude

This morning I had the privilege to give my testimony to a group of young women. It was great to organize my thoughts last night as I prepared my talk to emphasize the role of fortitude in my experiences. With every opportunity to share my story I have come to new realizations about the events. To share how fortitude has played a role, I needed to address the fears that have needed to be overcome. There have been many fears instilled in me since the crash, but God has shown me to be not afraid, to trust Him to take care of what He wills to be done. In order to shed some light on how God has magnificently worked through my struggles and demonstrate how fortitude has played a role in overcoming my fears, I spoke on four major fears that really stuck out to me. There were many others I could have also spoken of, but these seemed to be most important.

Fear 1: Never Being Able to Walk Again—There was a time when I didn’t know if I would ever walk again. It was a very rough time for me, but I always felt God’s assurance in my heart. Despite the circumstances, I knew that He would make it possible for me to walk again. And He did. But if I didn’t have the faith in Him, I wouldn’t have had the fortitude to try. I knew he could get me through and beyond. He held my hand as I learned how to walk again. He encouraged me to go farther, to run, to jump, to dance, etc. When I failed at these tasks time and time again, He gave me the courage to keep trying.

Fear 2: Not Being Able to Participate in Sports and Other Demanding Physical Activities—Being a fairly active person previous to the crash, waking up to a world where sports were not expected for me was beyond my comprehension. I did what I could, gradually working up to being able to do more and more, enduring setbacks from time to time. There were many amazing accomplishments, but also many goals I couldn’t meet. The hardest for me was losing my chance to play soccer, but I had finally been coming to terms with that recently. It took courage just to accept that it was not a part of God’s plan for me. I accepted the loss of soccer, but didn’t miss it any less. Then, God bestowed on me a marvelous blessing: intramural soccer. Playing soccer again, I can physically feel the beauty of God’s miracle and it is indescribably wonderful.

Fear 3: Being Viewed Differently—Back in Minot, I felt that I had lost my identity as Mikayla, that I had become “the girl who got hit.” My fear of this identity label played a big part in my moving to Fargo for college. I wanted to start fresh and was able to control the amount of information people knew about me. However, I later discovered that I am “the girl who got hit.” The experience was a big deal and it had impacted me a lot. Upon realizing this, I still wasn’t being open with others. But God has since led me to various opportunities enabling me to become more open and more comfortable with sharing my experiences. In sharing my experiences, I am given the opportunity to emotionally and spiritually heal. More importantly, sharing allows me to be a witness of God’s miraculous works in my life.

Fear 4: Inability to Raise a Family—Someday, I would really like to get married and start a family. Struggling to physically support myself alone, it has been a fear of mine that pregnancy will land me permanently in a wheelchair or that I will be in too much pain to hold and play with my children. Thankfully, God has intervened with these fears. I now realize that I will be able to do whatever it is He wills me to do. If I am meant to have children, then I will. And He will provide me with the strength to lovingly care for them. This concept does not apply only to raising a family. God has called me to do many various things recently that I wouldn’t have ever imagined I’d be capable. Fortitude helps one to move past self-doubts and do what it is that God asks.

All of these fears I’ve had were a result of not trusting in God to care for me. Without faith, how can we have fortitude? It was only when I believed I had a chance to succeed that I had the courage to follow through with trying. And as I have found many things that I am simply not able to do, I have found a great many more that I am able to do. I have found those things that God has asked me to do.

I am very grateful for the opportunity I had this morning, to share with others how God has blessed me. When telling others, I become more aware myself. God perfectly mapped out this opportunity and He will continue to lead me to others. My story is getting out there; His story is getting out there.